Posts tagged emotion.
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Everything Up Till Now.
(Listen and Read)
“Do you realize
All the falls and fights
All the sleepless nights
All the smiles and sighs
They brought you here
They only brought you home”
Everything; everything I have been, done or am.
Everyone; everyone I have met, loved, and feared.
Every path; every path I chose to walk (or run), and all the doors I closed - sometimes even slammed.
Look into my eyes and you will see it all.
My cheeks mirror all the tears I have wept.
My forehead is marred by all my emotions and,
my chin bruised by all the blows.
Hint: Suicide isn’t selfish.
Next person to say that will face retaliation (although, I’m not very aggressive - so it may be in the form of a couple sarcastic compliments)
But all jokes aside, seriously. I’ve unfortunately dealt with the aftermaths of suicide, and although I’ve never been directly affected, I’ve witnessed it as a third party.
Not only that, but I have both felt suicidal thoughts, as well as helped others remove such thoughts like I did.Suicide is not a joke, nor is it selfish - and you calling it such isn’t helping anyone.
Also, while I’m on the topic:
Bonus: You can’t just label all people who try to commit suicide as attention-whores. Many of them aren’t and are committing suicide as last acts of desperation and/or extreme loneliness - which DOES mean they need attention BUT only because everyone needs a little bit of attention to grow. Now stop and ask yourself: would it kill you to take a moment to ask someone if everything’s okay with them? How their life is holding up? How their family and/or friends are doing? Would it kill you to call em beautiful; compliment their clothes, their hair, their eyes.
Maybe you should, because you never know who’s hiding what.
Life; Get Used to It.
Some mofo’s need to pipe the fuck down and let people live however the fuck they want.
Everyone has problems. Everyone feels lonely. The faster we all let go of putting people on pedestals or knocking them down; the more happier we all will be. There’s no need to put labels on people, so stop trying to get to know someone’s “type”.
Humans are so elusive and ever-changing. No ones one thing for more than a second.
Look at me - I had a mental breakdown last night. But here I am listening to a damn-good mash up of say my name and cry me a river and jamming in my room. The sunlight’s streaming in and hitting my skin and I’ve never felt so alive. That doesn’t make what happened last night any less real, but please take both halves of me. The happy and the sad.
Please take both halves of people.
The good and the bad.
What If It’s Not Enough?
I’ve been really confused about everything lately.
I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. Life does the weirdest things - there are moments where you feel you have your roots firmly established, but there eventually comes a gale that knocks you right off your feet. And there isn’t anything you can do about it.
Broken; But Trying to Be Whole
Even though we’re broke; even though sadness dampens the skies, and shards of our heart lay broken around us - somehow, in some way we learn to smile.
Things will always be broken. We, will always be broken. I don’t know if a fix exists for all the problems we have, and face. But maybe that’s the whole point? Not to sit on the couche, tired and exhausted - but to continue to wage the war within our selves. Our angels and demons. Our mistakes and the consequences. To come to terms with what we think are our faults - but in reality are just facts we need to learn to live with. Almost as if life is trying to tell us who we are; as if life is teaching us how to live with ourselves
Possibly the most sweetest/classiest love song ever.
Mixing the thoughts of a loved one with the personification of a desert, brewing a cup of tea and the tides of the ocean.
The last couple verses in Azeri are just breath-taking. Not to mention the constant strumming of the strings which plucks at your heartstrings.
The Monster in the Mirror.
I used to think I was a magnet for broken people. Like they all converged on me for whatever reason. I thought I was somehow given the ability to help people, to get them outta messes people often find themselves lost in.
Then I realized everyone’s broken.
And I wasn’t special - anyone could help whoever they wished. We all had voices to soothe others, hands to hold on to others, and shoulders for others to lean on.
Our biggest obstacle, no matter in what context, is always ourselves.
Whether it’s because we think too much of ourselves, or too little.
Beauty.
A “Standard of Beauty” is one of the most ignorant and vile concepts I’ve ever come across in my life.
There is no such thing as a “standard” in beauty.
Beauty just is. And it comes in different shapes and forms, and the definition changes from person to person. Beauty can come from many things: people, places, concepts, actions, etc.
But, particularly when it comes to people - it should never be standardized.
Battered, Broken and Defeated.
(I don’t even know if this makes sense - I kept typing, and typing, and typing. I just had to give myself some sort of release)
Never in my life, have I felt so bruised, broken and defeated.
Never in my life have I lost all hope, shattered and depleted.
The words are etched into my face, they run down my spine.
I feel so tired, like every crack of bone is the break in the line.
Always, There is Light.
I’ve been so silly.
Worrying about things so pointless to worry about.
Life knocks everyone down. I think I needed today to take a break and remember how many times I’ve seen “Game Over”. And remember how many times I’ve clicked: “Continue”.
Fear.
I’ve been really afraid lately. I think too much about the future; I’m always worried about it. But normally - I’m so optimistic that it doesn’t really affect me. I try to always keep my spirits high - but lately I’m finding it harder and harder to do so. The stupid thing is, I don’t even know exactly what I’m afraid of.
Feminine. Girly. Gay. Fag(got). Weirdo. Freak. Ugly.
Sticks and stones may break bones, but you know what? Words scar our souls.They stab into our hearts,leaving incurable yet invisible scars.
“If you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. Because there is something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit.
You built a cast around your broken heart, and you signed it yourself, you signed it - THEY WERE WRONG.
Cause maybe you didn’t belong to a group or a clic. Maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything. Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth to show’n’tell but neve told because how can you hold your ground if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it.
You have to believe that they were wrong.
They have to be wrong.
Why else would you still be here?”
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people don’t just happen”
-Elisabeth Kubler-Rossin
The Future.
I’ve been worried about the future a lot lately (with the whole pharmacy application and all)
New Year’s Resolutions (~Insecurities Re-visited)
I wanted to get this up sooner - but it’s almost test day (Jan 12th) and my anxiety is steadily rising. On top of that I start the second semester of my 2nd year at university after this weekend; thus start of term anxiety is also rampant.
It’s a hurricane of feels in my head….
